Which books did your partner to actually READ? « Thread Started on Sept 18, 2009, 6:11am »
The only ADHD book we have in the house is Gina Pera's "Is it you, me, or adult ADHD?" which has been so completely eye opening -- I read it with a pencil and underlined and starred all the points I thought related to my partner. However, when I asked him to read it, he said, "I looked through it. It's BORING." After multiple discussions, he seems to think that it's full of psycho babble and says he is against the psychiatric field, or some other such BS.
So my question is - which books have your partners read that THEY found helpful? Mine seems to think that all he needs to do is get meds and the sun will shine, and birds will start landing on his shoulder or something.
Re: Which books did your partner to actually READ? « Reply #1 on Sept 19, 2009, 12:19am »
Hey Angela,
If he is completely unwilling to address his ADHD, then of course he will find a reason the Gina Pera book is useless - why on earth would he want to read a book about the disaster he has made of your relationship and his life?
To get him to actually see he has issues, I would recommend "Driven to Distraction" - that's the first one my husband read when he was diagnosed and trying to get a handle on what ADHD was and what it meant. He had many ah-ha moments reading that book. Once he was more in tune with the idea that he truly had ADHD, then "ADD & Romance" by Jon Halverstadt (I think that's how you spell it) was a good one for him to read to see that ADHD didn't just impact him at work - but also impacted him in our relationship. We both went through that one and underlined MANY paragraphs.
In every loss, in every lie In every truth that you'd deny And each regret, and each goodbye was a mistake to great to hide... So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies Across this new divide. New Divide-Linkin Park
Re: Which books did your partner to actually READ? « Reply #2 on Sept 19, 2009, 7:15am »
Thank you so much!! I think my ex read Driven to Distraction and found it helpful, now that I think of it (yes this is my THIRD relationship with someone with ADHD - I know how to pick 'em). I will try that one first!
The irony is that he LOVES to read literary and critical theory and philosophy, which is the most convoluted complicated reading on the face of the earth! So I find it funny that this simple, easy to read book is "BORING" to him. haha!
Marry and with luck it may go well. But when a marriage fails those who marry live at home in hell.
Joined: Mar 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 318 Location: Utah
Re: Which books did your partner to actually READ? « Reply #3 on Sept 22, 2009, 6:04pm »
The only book my stb-ex read was ADD & Romance by Halverstadt. I highly recommend it. He nailed the problems of our relationship perfectly. It's like he was writing about us.
How many times can I break till I shatter? Over the line can't define what I'm after I always turn the car around All that I feel is the realness I'm faking Taking my time but it's time that I'm wasting . . . I always turn the car around Don't wanna turn that car around OAR - "Shattered"
Beth W Administrator Co-Moderator member is offline
Joined: Feb 2004 Gender: Female Posts: 2,573 Location: Washington DC suburbs (MD)
Re: Which books did your partner to actually READ? « Reply #4 on Oct 2, 2009, 12:21am »
He read none of the multiple books I bought and paid for. I would pile them by the chair he always uses and I don't think he ever took notice of them. But then he doesn't admit to having ADD so why would he need the books.
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