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Dec 15, 2009, 10:03am

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Addspouse :: Beyond Addspouse :: Controlling behavior, abuse, anger :: 0-60 in 10 secs-how to stop verbal abuse
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AuthorTopic: 0-60 in 10 secs-how to stop verbal abuse (Read 352 times)
paula
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0-60 in 10 secs-how to stop verbal abuse
« Thread Started on Dec 11, 2008, 7:27pm »
Irrational in his anger, irrational in the causes of his anger. He gets loud, louder, throws things (never at me though.) I get scared, ask him to stop, tell him I feel frightened. Nothing works. I end up crying, feeling awful and yes, wondering what I could have done to either stop the behavior or heaven forbid, to not have caused it. He's on medication which does seem to have helped focus and the stupid type of blurts, but how do I handle the anger? I am so tired, of the fighting and of the post-arguing 'quiet and sulking' time. Maybe it gives us both a respite from the intensity. I suspect his anger isn't all about me, but about me somewhat and about previous relationships and relationship with his mother and father (who beat him.) I have gone to his therapist with him because he doesn't accurately report things; I don't agree with the therapist who basically lets me vent (thus giving my guy more opportunity to store anger for a later time) and who doesn't give firm, concrete strategies.....But he did say to me that 'anger is a part of ADHD--is it? What do others do in this situation?
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Diane
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Re: 0-60 in 10 secs-how to stop verbal abuse
« Reply #1 on Dec 12, 2008, 5:38pm »
Paula, read the articles on rage attacks in this forum. They're excellent. Also, you really need to talk to his doctor about whether there are other, comorbid disorders involved. There are many articles on the comorbid disorders in that forum.
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